CIA FC Stretch Unbeaten Run To One Game

Like a Woolly Mammoth dug up from the Artic Tundra, long buried but only partially decomposed, CIA FC emerged from nowhere to grab a leisurely 3-1 win over the Bromley Supporters club.

The return of ‘classic’ CIA FC old-boys like Hart, Smith, Prior and er…. Spinksy and a smattering of newbies like Disco Danny & Goalie Graham proved a potent blend. Combining together like a sophisticated cocktail, on which the Bromley boys were punch drunk within hours of kick off.

Perhaps the best return was that of new CIA FC head coach/manager/fixture organiser – Ric Prescod, & short of digging up Cloughie & watching his bloated corpse steer Forest to consecutive titles & European glory – you couldn’t ask for a more triumphant managerial return.

Opting for a simple 1-3-2-4-2-3-1 formation CIA FC dominated the opening exchanges, Gerry Attoe in particular a model of style & elegance as he crudely hacked down two Bromley players in the opening minutes. Fortunately the Ref, Mr. MacKay from Porridge, failed to notice these affronts to football decency & with Botnie "The Match" Razzzil performing linesman duties he had no hope of help from his assistant.

The half progressed at a snail’s pace for the crowd of 4, as neither side showed any clue what to do with that round white thing, (no not Barnie you fools – the ball!!).

However “class will tell” & proving this old saying wrong, CIA FC opened the scoring with Attoe bumbling his way through a defensive kerfuffle to slot home the opening goal.

The lead didn’t last long as central defensive giant, Jeff Prior, lashed home an unstoppable own goal from outside the box.

Moments later Prescod was denied a goal, when flagged offside from 6 yards out – predictably this lead to much anguish from Mr. P & a certain amount of leaping up & down on the spot – memories of Ayr, Leeds, Reading came flooding back for the old timers.

1-1 at half time.

The second half continued much the way as the first with CIA FC spraying balls into touch with consummate ease. Spinksy whose spell deep sea fishing in the Baltic had converted him from leaden footed left back to twinkle toed winger was show-trawlering all over the park – faints here, nuts there – honestly it was like a cross between Eco-protestor Swampy, Polish Trade Union Leader Lech Walensa & Jerome Thomas.

The 2nd goal came from Steve “The Beast” Parker, with the big fella nodding home a corner from Woody & then breaking his composure by performing multiple somersaults all the way back to the centre circle.
CIA FC soon registered a 3rd when Worldnet Umbrella Winning striker Woody, clipped home a smart drive & the game was effectively over.

There was still time for hitherto Assistant Referee Batnie "Bernie" Razzzzill to be put through on goal with a plum opportunity to score, head down looking at the ball though Bern became disorientated & ran off in the direction of the changing rooms chasing the bobbling ball. Despite anguished cries from the touchline he continued out of the car park, over road outside the sports ground & onto the A21 & is currently making his way down towards Hastings although recent reports seem to indicate he has the ball under control at last.

Well that was about that, Mr MacKay blew his whistle on proceedings & the lads trooped off with a great victory tucked under their ample belts.

Roll on the next non-league supporters team that we can find. There’s no messing once the CIA FC bandwagon is on the roll.

Graham Goalie
Disco Danny – Jeff Prior – Steve Parker – Andy Oakey
Danny Smith – Dan Hart – John Dougall – Ambrish Patel
Gerry Attoe – James Woodward

Subs: Ric Prescod, Matt Owen, Graeme Williams, Danny Spinks, Barnaldo,